Connection kills comparison and competition.
I remember being a young mom and constantly comparing myself to other moms who were just a few months ahead of where I was in raising children.
I wanted to totally SLAY at the parenting thing.
I’ve always been pretty competitive in certain areas of my life. Personal growth and advancement not excluded. So, I thought I would for sure be encouraged by a little competition in parenting. I mean, I wanted to say, “My kids have better manners.” or “My kids don’t argue.” or even, “My kids did THAT at a much earlier age.” What I was really doing was comparing myself to others, which is dangerous. Please tell me I am not alone.
When I became a solo mom, the need to be able to do this was much stronger. It was as if I needed to prove something. I felt like a failure when I saw others parenting so much better than I was. I mean, my kids weren’t perfect, and God wanted me to keep them off the hook for such things! But, those OTHER moms were doing it, or so it seemed…
Then, God very lovingly showed me how my parenting style was my own for the children HE has allowed me to face life with every day. He handpicked us all to be together! It was never going to be like what any other friend’s parenting. Most of them were married and had husbands who participated in the parenting, too! But, God. He showed me I didn’t have to be a perfect Mommy. I have a PERFECT SAVIOR!
It was not until I had a friend ask me to share with her how I was able to keep my kids so well-mannered and selfless, and how I planned my week as a solo mom that I realized others may be comparing themselves to ME!
Uh – That’s NUTS, let me just tell you!
This is not nuts: God made you. His love for you is extravagant! Extending that same love to our families is what He wants us each to do. I failed and flailed about for YEARS. But, I am thankful for God giving me children who had a heart for ME! I always thought they all deserved more than me. Better than me. OTHER than me.
And, now, I still fall into that thought gully when the storms of parenting my adult children unexpectedly hit me. In the early years of unexpected storms, things calmed down when I FINALLY allowed others to connect to me while I was raising toddlers. I found a renewed strength to hold on to God’s guidance and promises in parenting!
Being a solo mom was not easy. Being a married mom isn’t either. But, what IS easy is linking into a GOD connection. Stop Comparing. Stop Competing. Start CONNECTING.
“Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” 2 Corinthians 10:12, ESV
I don’t want to be without understanding! Do you?
Take time to BEHOLD Her Life, not COVET Her Life! She is struggling and needs a connection. Link, up, sweet sisters. Let’s SLAY!